Devising a new thesis or focus statement

Reference no: EM131123790

What is deep revision?

Revision, or literally re-seeing, asks that you look again at writing you've done in an attempt to transform it for measurable improvement. Revision is often confused with editing, which most commonly concerns surface error correction. While error- mending and editing certainly are important, deep revision applies a process of re- seeing and re-thinking aimed at ideas and content. A deeply revised essay, then, has been re-worked with careful attention to the ways ideas are explained, positions developed, and points affirmed rather than merely moving commas around and correcting typos.

For this unit's revision essay, you will apply deep revision strategies to your choice of essay #1 or essay #2. Your revision process should consider instructor comments applied to the earlier draft submitted for a grade. It should also incorporate the suggestions made by others in the class in the peer response thread. Notice that this unit's essay requires an increased length range of at least 500 words to reinforce the expectation that this will be a deep revision.

Remember from our lecture some of the things that deep revision might involve:

Devising a new thesis, or focus statement that is perhaps more creative or simply more well-defined;
Revising the body paragraphs of your paper to more overtly connect them to the thesis statement;
Adding new supporting arguments that incorporate new rhetorical strategies (description, narration, compare/contrast, definition)

Revising paragraphs that contain more than one supporting argument (see this unit's recommended reading on paragraph development)
Constructing a new conclusion

This deep revision work should not be done simply for the sake of revising-it will only result in a stronger product if motivated by genuine efforts to enhance the persuasiveness of your message for a specific audience.

Guidelines for Revision of Essay One or Two

Length: Approximately 1500 words; this is about 500 words more than the requirement for the original essays.

Please craft a short reflection description (one to two paragraphs) describing the changes and transformations you made in undertaking this deep revision. This will also include information about your surface editing efforts (see below, "A Note about Proofreading"). Submit this description as either a second file in Submit Assignment or as a new page at the end of your essay. Failure to submit this required information will result in one letter grade deduction from this essay.

A Note about Proofreading: As evidence of your effort to proofread your work before turning it in, you must useEasy Writer for guidance. I want to see specific notes of which writing conventions you have aligned with the suggestions and models in Easy Writer. Look at the table of contents, paying special attention to sections 7-28. For this essay, choose an area where you know you need help or clarification - for instance, pronouns (section 11) or semicolons (section 20). Proofread your essay for the selected error type or pattern, working to correct instances of its occurrence. For example, if you know you have difficulty with run - on sentences, you would turn to section 12, "Comma Splices and Fused Sentences," on page 87. Then you would proofread your essay for run -on sentences, working to mend them as carefully as you are able. At the end of your essay, give the section, title, and page numbers you referred to as you proofread,for instance: Lunsford, 12, "Comma Splices and Fused Sentences," (87 -90). Please address a new area with each subsequent essay, rather than continuing to refer to the same section.

Style/Format: This, as all essays in EN105, will be formatted according to MLA (Modern Language Association) guidelines for scholarship in the humanities:

12 point, Times New Roman font, double-spaced.
1-inch margins top, bottom, and sides.
Although no cover page is needed, you should include your name, my name, the course number/title, and date at the upper left-hand corner of the manuscript.
To view a sample MLA-formatted paper, see p. 252 in Easy Writer.

File format: Please submit your essay in Rich Text Format (RTF). This is available in most word processing programs; it will ensure maximum document accessibility for all operating platforms.

Titles: Include a descriptive title at the beginning of your essay that tips your readers off to your thesis. Do not format your title with quotation marks, boldface, underlining or italics. Quotation marks or underlining are only appropriate if the title borrows words from another source.

Deadline: Submit your final draft essay no later than Midnight CST on Sunday at the end of this unit.

Use of essays for future courses: Please understand that your essay may be used-anonymously-as a sample for future EN105 students and instructors unless you expressly request that it not be used. Your work, of course, will only be used for educational purposes.

Grading: See the "Grading and Assessment" content item under Course Information.

My Instructor feed back

Thank you. You have some good insights here. Process: I do find evidence of some process in your writing, but not as much as is needed. Your work needs organization, and it appears that you are still processing what you want to write. Your thesis statement is not really supported by the body of the paper as much as it could be. -2 Focus: You do have a focus, and it deserves good support. Each part of your essay should be driven by a topic sentence that points back to your focus, or thesis statement. That sentence should frame that portion of your essay and build a frame for the details and examples you add as support. I am not really seeing this at this point.-2 Development: You do use some examples from the text, but, in general, you almost summarize the writing. What is needed is support from your own experience and observation, concrete evidence of some kind.-2 Rhetorical Strategies: Be sure to stay in one point of view, not using you. Be sure to write to your reader, encouraging them to believe in your writing. Your goal is to engage the reader here. Specific examples and details will help to do this.-2 Conventions: Work with formatting of the essay, the citations, and works cited. Also, review punctuation especially. -2 Thank you, . I would recommend that you use a second set of eyes to read over your work and make suggestions before submitting your essay. It is hard to review our own work as our minds often trick us into believing we have written something that we haven't. Even letting the work rest and then re-reading it is good. Keep up the good work! Mrs. Mac

Reference no: EM131123790

Questions Cloud

What are some of the classroom disadvantages for employing : Based on your learning about observational learning in this module, what are the benefits that these students could gain through their inclusion into a regular classroom?

Who was this belgian scientist : This Belgian scientist had already inspired the founding of the Meteorological Institute in Uccle (near Brussels) in 1833, and evolved from an astronomer to a sociologist. He tried to apply statistics to sociological phenomena. Who was this Belgia..

Describe the role of transporter proteins : Describe the role of transporter proteins with regard to nutrient movement

What did sebastien zoude produce : Sebastien Zoude obtained in 1753 the patent necessary to open a new factory near Namur. Nowadays the same industry is still present in Belgium, but the main factory is now near Liège. What did Sebastien Zoude produce?

Devising a new thesis or focus statement : Revision, or literally re-seeing, asks that you look again at writing you've done in an attempt to transform it for measurable improvement. Revision is often confused with editing, which most commonly concerns surface error correction.

Why do you think there is a difference in recuperation time : Compare the vascularization of the tissues. After learning the characteristics of tissues, why do you think there is a difference in recuperation time for the two players

Which german city was the treaty signed : The Thirty Years' War was ended by a treaty signed at Osnabrück. In which German city was the treaty signed that ended the Eighty Years' War?

Describe the securities laws that might apply : The CareAssist Company, a Web-based provider of information for the elderly, is planning to sell $4 million in securities. Management is trying to decide which, if any, securities laws must be complied with. For each of the following situations, desc..

Explain logistics of conducting a corporate investigation : Identify the various types of corporate violations and the policy considerations in enforcement. Explain the logistics of conducting a corporate investigation and the options available to law enforcement.

User Account

All Pages