Health insurance online on our intranet

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Revise the sentences below to improve "you-attitude" and positive emphasis plus eliminate biased language where appropriate. Leave the original sentence intact so you can compare the changes.

Write the Statement first. Write the correct statement next.

We are pleased to offer you the ability to sign up for health insurance online on our Intranet.

You cannot return this item for a full refund if you keep it past 30 days.

We have taken a lot of time and trouble to design a Web site that is more than the usual useless fluff.

Reference no: EM132219459

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