Provide the feedback on the given personal statement

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Reference no: EM131324641

Provide the feedback on the given Questions and Asnwers.

Describe how you have prepared for your intended major, including your readiness to succeed in upper-division courses once you enroll at the University.

Things to consider: How did your interest in your major develop? Do you have any experience related to your major outside of the classroom - such as volunteer work, internships, and employment, or participation in student organizations and activities? If you haven't had experience in the field, consider including experience in the classroom. This may include working with faculty or doing research projects.

Our lives are affected by economics in our daily basis in the way that we spend our money, work, and decision-making. Ever since my childhood, when I spend money on what I need and watching news about our economy, I was alway curious who decides the price of products, where these products come from and why people demands this product. I've been inspired by economics. I was drawn to all kinds of money flows, where people spend their money, and why they spend their money. The economic brought me the closer understanding of my curious.

I have prepared for my major by taking all prerequisite courses required for an Economic and Business Administration major. Additionally, I applied for internships to have hands-on experience in my major, but I was denied by these because I was undocumented. They required me to have the social security number to work as an intern. I knew my legal status is the barrier, but I didn't stop. I researched through my major, and I found out that building a contact is one of key to success in my major career.

So I decided to sign up for workshops, and I visited many workshops related to career, investment, and economics where I was able to visit and build contacts with many corporation employees, who hire people, review resume, and tell their stories about their lives such as why they chose their major and career and how they applied. I do not have any regret choosing this major and I want to pursue more deeply into my major.

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

If you choose to write about educational barriers you've faced, how did you overcome or strived to overcome them? What personal characteristics or skills did you call on to overcome this challenge? How did overcoming this barrier help shape who are you today?
One of educational barrier that I faced was a language. My family and I came to the United States in May 2008. Korean was my first language. I learned, spoke, wrote, and read in Korea, until the day I came to the United States. During my middle school and high school year, I was called by ESL student. Teachers and students identified international students as ESL or EFL. I started from the beginning. I learned brand new cultures, how to behave, different educational system, and social isolation.

I was more introverted than extroverted in my character. I was more listener than a speaker, but I knew this wouldn't improve my English skills, so I started to change myself as an extroverted character. I always tried engaged conversations with my friends and teachers, and they helped me by fixing my mistakes and I fixed my mistakes for next conversation. I was a lack of confidence, but now I'm not. I was able to improve my English skills through my friends and teachers.

Different education system played a negative role in improving my education skills. In Korea, 90% of students enroll in the private academy after school, where it helps students to prepare for exams, and future lectures. I had to rely on my regular school education for my study. Also, the grading system was different than what I used to receive. I visited writing centers and workshops after school to get helps on my homeworks and questions. Professors and friends in writing centers read my essay and gave me feedback what need to be changed, and what I need to add. It was helpful to use this kind of resources in school to improve my English skills.

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?
Things to consider: A challenge could be personal, or something you have faced in your community or school. Why was the challenge significant to you? This is a good opportunity to talk about any obstacles you've faced and what you've learned from the experience. Did you have support from someone else or did you handle it alone?

If you're currently working your way through a challenge, what are you doing now, and does that affect different aspects of your life? For example, ask yourself, "How has my life changed at home, at my school, with my friends, or with my family?"

During my last year of high school, I started to realize that I'm different than many students around me. One of the most significant challenges I faced was legal status. While I was preparing for college applications, I found out that legal status matters now. I started to concern about financial issues, being isolated from my friends, and anxiety that I will be deported any time. Due to the financial issue, I chose De Anza College and planned to transfer to 4-year college.

While I was at De Anza college, I visited many different places to seek help such as counseling office, financial office, and many other. In the counseling office, I was able to shorten my concerns about the financial issue. Ms. Moreno suggested me to apply for an AB 540, which it allows undocumented students to qualify for in-state tuition. After that, I searched more, and I found out about HEFA (Higher Education For AB 540 Students). HEFS is an educational program that provides many resources to reduces financial stress and creates a safe environment for all student who is undocumented or AB 540. I went to many workshops, where HEFAS provided for students. I was able to meet immigrant lawyers, counselors, and other undocumented immigrants. We shared our stories, and I was able to see the world that I haven't seen.

Currently, I'm still working on my way through this challenge, and I want to overcome this challenge. After I found out, there are many students who are undocumented. I started to feel I'm no longer different than any others. My life has changed. I started to meet people and engaged through conversations. I came out from the shadow and became same as others around me.

What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

Things to consider: If there's a talent or skill that you're proud of, this is the time to share it. You don't necessarily have to be recognized or have received awards for your talent (although if you did and you want to talk about, feel free to do so). Why is this talent or skill meaningful to you?

Does the talent come naturally or have you worked hard to develop this skill or talent? Does your talent or skill allow you opportunities in or outside the classroom? If so, what are they and how do they fit into your schedule?

Essentially everyone makes mistakes. One of my greatest skill I have is to not making same mistakes. Learning from a mistake is a great opportunity to learn new stuff such as new education skill, cultures, and myself. I was able to learn my limit, capability, and what I can do and what I cannot do. Ever since my childhood, my parents influenced me who I am right now. They told me that it's better to try and fail than never to try at all because you get to learn stuff from failing. People are scared to try new stuff because they know that they will fail eventually. I used to be introverted character, but after I learned this skill I became extroverted character. I became speaker rather than a listener. Mistakes helped me let go of fears.

By using this skill, I was able to improve my English skills. I always tried and asked my friends and teachers to identify my mistakes so that I can fix it later for next conversation or activity. After I fix my mistakes, I try not to make same mistakes over and over, because I believe making same mistakes over and over is on purpose. I use this skills in my daily life in or outside the classroom. I want to improve this skill more and more.

Reference no: EM131324641

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