Reference no: EM133348200

At times, insecure individuals will place responsibility on other people instead of taking ownership of their part of the situation. When others take responsibility for another person, they take responsibility for another person's actions, behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. In the counseling setting, clients will place responsibility on their counselor to find solutions and motivation for change. The counselor's role is to be a mirror by reflecting back on what the client is stating and feeling. The counselor's role is not to take on the client's role, which is ownership of their responsibility for themselves.

Blame is a common way individuals avoid taking responsibility. Blame removes the responsibility from the "blamer" and places it on the other person or situation. When blame occurs, this stunts personal growth and blocks opportunities for change. Blame creates an unproductive dynamic. When a person is feeling blamed, it brings out a protection response which is defensiveness. Communication deteriorates and becomes gridlocked between the negative communication cycle of "blame" and "defensiveness." Typically, a "blamer" is not open to seeing themselves as part of the problem. And a "defender" may blame back or take a victim position.

Insecure individuals will use blame to avoid experiencing certain emotions or owning situations that put them in a bad light. When people self-reflect on the problem, they can identify fears that prevent them from feeling secure and taking ownership of their emotions, thoughts, and actions.

Self-Reflect on the following points

1. Identify three ways a student can be responsible "for" their learning in school.

2. Identify three ways peers and the instructors can be responsible "to" students.

3. When clients become reactive and blame the counselor for their situation, how can a counselor reflect and be responsible "to" but not "for" the client?