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Introduction to Emotional Intelligence (EQ):

My name is Peggy Boyer. I'm a business psychologist who's working who has been working with individuals and teams for the last 15 years as an executive coach. And today we're gonna talk about emotional intelligence. Specifically, we're gonna talk about what emotional intelligence is, how it differs from general intelligence or IQ, what it means to you, and why should you care?

We'll also talk about the relationship between thoughts and feelings, and explore why that's important. And then we'll explore your own emotional intelligence by reviewing the assessment that you took before taking this course. So what exactly is emotional intelligence, or EQ? Have you ever noticed that there are some people in life who just seem to be really successful, regardless of their education, or how smart they are?

While there are others that you may know, we tend to struggle a little bit. Chances are, the people you know who have been really successful are successful because they have higher emotional intelligence. And emotional intelligence is distinct from IQ, or cognitive intelligence, as we know. And even though IQ is often associated with success, common sense and now research is telling us that being able to make our way in a complex world by successfully dealing with people and the environment is actually more important, perhaps the most important element of intelligence.

Reuven Bar-On, who is one of the founders of the study of emotional intelligence, defines emotional intelligence as such. It is a cross-section of emotional and social competencies that determine how well we understand and express ourselves, understand and relate with others, and cope with daily demands and pressures. So let's explore a little bit closer the difference between EQ and IQ.

So whereas emotional intelligence is about the emotional, social, communicative, and relational abilities one has, IQ, or cognitive intelligence, is about the cognitive, intellectual, logical, analytical, and rational abilities. EQ is about grasping one's own, as well as others' wants and needs. So it's about understanding not only what you need and want to feel satisfied and happy in life, but also about understanding, and grasping what others might need and want to feel happy and healthy in life.

IQ, on the other hand, serves your personal information database, where memories, vocabularies, new information, and such gets stored. And EQ determines one's capability to cope with environmental demands and pressures, whereas IQ determines one's capabilities to acquire, and organize new knowledge. So just from this brief comparison, we see that both are important.

However, to survive and thrive in the world, and with others, EQ seems to be relatively more important. That's not to say though that cognitive ability or thinking isn't related to emotional intelligence or feeling. And in fact, our thoughts and our feelings are very much related. Let's just test this out for a second.

Take a moment and ask yourself; what am I feeling right now? What emotions am I feeling? Where am I feeling that emotion in my body? And now, at this moment, what exactly are you thinking? I bet for most of us, the feelings that we're feeling have to do with stress.

With all the demands and work and life, most of us are walking around just a little bit stressed out every day. If that's true for you, I bet when I asked you where is it in your body? You noticed some tension in your neck and shoulders. Maybe you noticed some stiffness in your jaw, or a dull headache coming on.

Some of us might have noticed it at other places, like our back, or our chest. And finally, when I asked you to identify the thoughts you were thinking, I bet they were related to the many. Or perhaps, some unresolved issues that are happening at work or at home.

And here's the thing, By doing this, by creating this awareness of what we're thinking, and how it's showing up as feelings, we're now empowered to do something about it. To help ourselves managed through that so that we stopped feeling the tension in our neck and shoulders, the tightness in our jaws.

Now, why don't we turn to the self-assessment that you completed before this course, to do little bit of a deeper dive into your own emotional intelligence? As you will recall, the assessment had you tally up the number of times you answered, not like me, a bit like me, somewhat like me, and always like me.

The closer your score was to 85, the more developed your EQ is. Now, that's the good news. The even better news is unlike IQ or cognitive intelligence, your emotional intelligence can be developed. And it's my hope for all of you that should you take the assessment again after taking this course, and practicing some of the skills that we'll cover in the next chapter,

That your EQ will be close to 85 as well. So pay attention to each category of this assessment, look a little closer. Were there some categories where you selected not like me more often than you selected a lot like me? If so, those are the categories that are worth paying attention to, because those are the categories that can be developed to increase your emotional intelligence.

Questions:

1. Peggy Boyer, Business Psychologist discusses Emotional Intelligence versus General Intelligence (IQ). How would you describe the difference between EQ & IQ?

2. Which one of these do you think helps you to survive and thrive in the world and why?