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Evidence: Identify three different types of evidence you could use to develop your working thesis from Entry 2. Use specific information from your brainstorming list, as well as any other ideas that come to you. (Length open)
Organization: Choose a method of organization for your evidence. Using that evidence, prepare an outline or simulate a graphic organizer to show your organizational plan for the onepage essay. Don’t draft the essay in your journal, however.
This journal entry requires you to review the rough draft of the essay below. Analyze the draft according to each of the areas listed, identifying what needs revision. For each area,
explain why and how you would change the draft. (4 paragraphs, 5 sentences each)
Analyze the essay’s
- Purpose and audience
- Thesis statement, topic sentences, and paragraphs
Rough Draft: E-mail vs. Letters
Instead of using e-mails, mail a letter to your grandparents. We live in a fast-paced world. We use computers to send e-mails and Instant Message. Nana doesn’t live in that time zone. Forget all those fonts and emoticons or abbreviations like LOL. You point and click but Grandpa wants to hold something, unwrap a letter, and smell it. A crayoned picture smells and feels special, no scanner can do that. Their senses want to be used. He lives in a physical world, not an invisible one. Grandparents can touch something that’s mailed. Sometimes as if touching the ink or pencil on paper helps them touch the writer. A picture can be held and used in so many ways. I get to see how my grandkids’ handwriting is changing as they grow. I know how they feel just from the way they write the words.
A letter gives your grandparents the real thing. A letter exists in time and space. Even if Grandma and Grandpa e-mail you
regularly, the surprise of a mailed letter provides something to cherish rather than to be deleted. Of course, they like getting
through the Internet a photograph of you on the day of a special event. But a printed photograph can be put into an album or used for a bookmark or posted on the refrigerator for regular review. They don’t have to worry about color cartridges or paper because you have given them what they need in the mail. Sure, they may have a hard time reading your handwriting. A letter is a tangible way to remind them that you care enough to take the time and effort to communicate
with them and them alone.
The convenience and efficiency of computers can’t be matched by regular postal service. But they sometimes bleep and blurp in a frustrating conversation your grandparents can’t quite hear or understand. One wrong click here and another there
can mean mass destruction. They may get a paper cut from your letter, but sucking on a finger while reading makes their experience more memorable and satisfying. The cut heals; the letter remains alive.